Six Players You Don’t Want on your CS:GO Team

Six Players You Don’t Want on your CS:GO Team

CS:GO can be a great game sometimes; the tension of watching the last man on your team defuse the bomb with seconds to spare, the frantic duel of two players down to their pistols, the perfectly executed rush onto site B for a clean sweep. These are all amazing moments that bring a smile to your face, but whether you experience them is heavily dependent on your team. It only takes one bad apple to spoil the batch in CS:GO. Here are six such rotten fruits that you don’t want on your team.

  1. The Always-AWPer

They buy an AWP whenever they can afford it and get an SSG (the crappier, lower end sniper rifle) when they can’t. It’s not so bad if they know what they are doing, but they can be completely useless if their aim isn’t on point. What’s worse is if your team has more than one Always-Awper. No team needs more than one sniper, especially if it means they will just be scoping mid the whole round and not actually contributing anything.

  1. The Lemming

More a Counter-Terrorist oriented problem and something that I myself have been guilty of. Completely lacking in patience, The Lemming charges forward and forsakes the advantages that defending and tact confer. Occasionally something amazing will happen and they will win the round for you, but more often than not they will just end up rushing into the sights of an AWP, dying first, and leaving the rest of the team up the creek without a paddle.

"Damn it, Jeff, we already have to snipers!"

“Damn it, Jeff, we already have two snipers!”

3. The Glass Cannon

This is a player who never buys body armor unless they have money to burn. You’ve just lost the pistol round, it’s time to half-eco with kevlar and a P250. What does this guy do? Buys the most expensive gun he can afford and steps into the firing line au natural. Inevitably gets torn to shreds by the superior firepower of the opposing team, ends up strapped for cash and starts the same damn cycle all over again. God forbid that he is also a Lemming.

  1. The Stomper

In CS:GO, your ears are as important as your eyes. Noise is an important way of pinpointing where your enemies are, whether they are swapping weapons or stomping around the map like this player. Seriously do they even know what their Shift key does? There are times to run and make noise, and there are times to walk forward slowly to deny your opponents some vital aural information. It’s almost cringe-worthy to be spectating the stomper when he is the last one alive on your team, jaunting merrily around the map and alerting the enemy of his every move.

"STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP"

“STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP”

5. The Not-A-Charity-Case

It’s okay to accept handouts when you need them and, if you have some spare dollar, it’s great to help out a less fortunate team-mate. This player just won’t accept the gift of gun if they can help it. Wanna buy this guy an M4? It’s on the ground now and he’s wielding a Nova *shudder*. P90? Nah; this guy will settle for a Mac-10 out of his own pocket. It’s bad enough that he is forsaking better weapons to confront the enemy team with cheapo pop-guns, but does he have to waste your money and throw your good intentions right back at you as well?

6) The Incredible Whinge

It’s bad enough when someone on your team starts flaming. It’s even worse when that player has made the worst contribution. This brings us at last (and most definitely least) to the Incredible Whinge. If he spent half as much time playing as he did lamenting about how apparently bad his team was he might actually be a good player, an asset even, but alas no. Initiating votes to kick their chosen harassment victim,begging to be kicked so as to avoid match abandonment penalties, and generally being a distracting pain in the arse are all on The Incredible Whinge’s CV. The only saving grace is that they will only show up when you are losing, so you won’t have to deal with them all the time.

So there is my list of the six worst types of player to have on your team in CS:GO. May your competitive games go smoothly, and may all these players be on the other team. Unless you are in Silver, where everyone is a Stomper and there’s nothing you can do about it.

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